Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Just Me, By Myself

"Orange" - Enhanced Digital Photo
I guess you can see that I'm peeling myself open like an orange.
I've begun a new chapter in my life. It's thrilling. But not everyone in my life is thrilled for me. And not all of my blog followers will be thrilled, either. Although this blog has primarily been about my art, I call it "a crabulous life" because it was always my intention to write about other aspects of my life, as well.

Ending a marriage, especially a long one, is never easy. It's easy to point fingers and the desire to blame is great. But . . . everyone has their demons. Ours just did not play well together.
Life goes on and new chapters are always being written. Remember that old Carly Simon song, "That's The Way I've Always Heard It Should Be"? There's a phrase from that song which has long haunted me. It goes, "I'll never learn to be just me first, by myself."

That line is significant. That is an important step in life for all people. It's nearly impossible to contribute to a relationship when you don't even know who you are independently of another human being. It's a step that I missed in my life and as I learned more and more about myself during my marriage, we pretty much discovered that I was not the woman my ex hoped I would be.

So now I'm on a quest to be "just me, by myself," and I feel a need to share it with the world. Don't worry. There will still be art. Art and creativity is all a very big part of me. But, there'll be other things as well.



Anonymous said...

Kristeena, I can totally relate . I thought I always had to be someone for everyone , not just me for myself . Someone's wife , daughter, mother, wife, never got to know just me by myself . I'm working on that , though . Thanks for posting this . And man , do I love Carley Simon! I wish you peace , wisdom and FUN .! Genie .

Kristeena Crabb said...

Thanks, Genie!

Kristeena Crabb said...

Thanks, Genie!